


Death Comes Too Easy

by astraldefender



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 5+1, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Fluff, M/M, Reaper!Victor, Slice of Life, but also fluff, eating disorder mention, listen really you're just going to have to trust me on this one, mental illness mention, otabek altin/yuri plisetsky (mention) - Freeform, past and future, substance abuse mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 13:57:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraldefender/pseuds/astraldefender
Summary: The first time he meets Yuuri Katsuki things do not go as planned. He shows up, he does his job, and that's it. There shouldn’t ever be a second time.That's not how it went.orFive times Yuuri Katsuki almost died and one time he finally did.





	Death Comes Too Easy

The first time he meets Yuuri Katsuki things do not go as planned. He shows up, he does his job, and that's it. There shouldn’t ever be a _second_ time.

 

That's not how it went.

 

1.

 

Yuuri Katsuki is five years old, living with his parents and older sister in the sleepy seaside town of Hasetsu, Japan. It's July, the peak of summer, and the Katsuki’s have taken the day to go to the beach while still in the off season for the family onsen. Mari Katsuki is in the tide pools, pulling any creature she can get her tiny hands on out of the water to show her wide eyed little brother. There's something about the way Yuuri’s eyes look at the world around him, a light that captivates him as he remains a secret onlooker from his sandcastle. He is also five, or at least he _looks_ like he's five. After years of this he's learned that it's children that are always the hardest, and that no one ever spares a second look to a child on the scene. It's easier this way. It’s always easier this way.

 

But Yuuri Katsuki has something, some kind of magnetic hold on him that he just can't shake. Maybe it's the way his eyes shine ocher in the sunlight, or the blinding, unhindered smile that spreads across his cherubic face, or how it's the fact that he's reaching for a sea creature outside of the pools he can give to his sister when the riptide grabs hold -

 

Something changes in that moment, something that wipes all logical thought from his mind and has him sprinting toward the water, strides longer than should have been possible for a five year old. He's older now, a young man. Fit, strong enough to fight through the current.

 

He pulls Yuuri to the shore.

 

“I'm a lifeguard, I was off duty. He’ll be okay.”

 

He disappears.

 

* * *

 

2. 

 

The second time he meets Yuuri Katsuki is six years later. Yuuri is eleven now and taking figure skating lessons, finally progressing to learning jumps. He's joined Yuuri’s class for the day, looking eleven while not _being_ eleven. Dark hair, dark brown eyes, unassuming. It's always children that are the hardest, but it shouldn't be _this hard._

 

The skating coach has left the rink to speak to parents, leaving only himself, Yuuri, and Yuuko on the ice. Yuuko is older but completely captivated by Yuuri’s jumping, being an ice dancer and having never progressed past a single. Despite being older, she's still young and naive and overwhelmed when Yuuri skates, skates, _jumps_ \- and crashes back to the ice. There's a sickening crack as his skull makes contact.

 

She freezes. She does nothing, which is exactly what she is supposed to do. This is exactly how this is supposed to go, but his skates move with their own free will, racing toward the entrance of Ice Castle Hasetsu and yelling as loud as he can manage for _somebody, anybody_ to call an ambulance.

 

He can't help himself.

 

The Katsuki’s never manage to thank the strange boy who saved their son. He never returns.

 

* * *

 

3.

 

It's been years since he's seen Yuuri Katsuki and really this is getting old. The third time they meet Yuuri is eighteen, living in Chicago for just a month now and attending University. Still skating, always skating. He's wearier now, riddled with anxieties and eating problems. He's not a child anymore, it should be easier.

 

Why is it then, after a half mile of trailing and watching the panic attack take root in Yuuri’s chest, that he finds himself ripping the boy from the oncoming traffic he hadn't bothered to check for? Why does he lead him to the side of the street, to a concealed stoop tucked just within an alleyway and coax the panic from his lungs?

 

Why does he care _so much_?

 

“Close your eyes. Inhale deep, exhale slowly. Count to ten.”

 

When Yuuri opens his eyes the stranger that saved his life is gone.

 

* * *

 

4. 

 

He'd been preparing for this encounter for some time now, months really. He needed to be closer to Yuuri, someone Yuuri would let behind his walls so he could finally understand why he can't just let nature take its course.

 

Victor Nikiforov was his name now. The Russian legend met his fate much like Yuuri was supposed to twelve years ago. One nasty spill on the ice and that was it. He didn't struggle with Victor.

 

Adults are easy.

 

Victor’s young death had presented him with an interesting opportunity though, he and Yuuri were meant to meet as competitors at the Grand Prix Finals in just a few months time. So he became Victor, figure skating pride and joy of his (now) Mother Russia. Gold medalist of the Grand Prix Finals, the fifth of a career that wasn't _truly_ his, but all the same.

 

And the dancing partner of one exceptionally drunk Yuuri Katsuki.

 

Yuuri had come in a painful sixth place, his inebriated state being proof of just how well he was handling that. That's to say, not at all, not in the slightest really. His coach, Celestino, Victor had overheard, had managed to wrangle the most recent glass of champagne from Yuuri’s hands, only for Yuuri to turn and fill the empty space with Victor’s own. It was a blur, a bright, vibrant, ludicrously joyful blur of misstepped ballroom and nonsense freestyle and a _dance battle_ but Victor felt like his soul was on fire every time Yuuri’s fingertips traced across his skin. Victor would willingly turn to dust under his touch for everyone here to see without hesitation. The realization lead to another that had everything around him moving much, much slower. Victor was suddenly very conscious of the fact that somewhere along the way in his fascination, he had fallen in love with Yuuri Katsuki.

 

He'd fallen in love with someone who wasn't even supposed to be alive.

 

When Celestino finally came for Yuuri in a flurry of apologies, Victor took the opportunity to retreat to his hotel room. How had this happened? How had he _allowed_ this to happen? How could he, when he knows too well why he'd even taken this form in the first place? Victor is moving for the door before he even registers the time, running to the elevators, tapping his foot impatiently before abandoning the wait and climbing the stairs to the roof as fast as his legs could carry him.

 

Yuuri Katsuki is there, just like he’s supposed to be. The dying city lights catch the sadness in his eyes, the pinch in his brow, the frown of his lips. Victor could feel himself caught in an impossible battle, feet cemented to the ground but heart reaching almost desperately. His soul demanded Yuuri’s, ached to be closer, longed to be the one to chase his poisonous thoughts away. Surely a man so wonderful, so kind, so _beautiful_ did not deserve the hand that Yuuri Katsuki was dealt. Surely the world deserved to see this man, _needed_ him in order for it to feel whole. This was wrong.

 

This was _wrong._

 

Victor wound an arm around Yuuri's waist as he began to lose his footing, teetering dangerously - fatally really - close to the edge.

 

“V-Victor?” The sharpness of his name was muted by the lingering Japanese on Yuuri’s tongue and still Victor could not calm the hammering in his chest. “What are you -”

 

“You shouldn't be up here alone, Yuuri. It's dangerous and you've had far too much to drink. Let's get you inside.”

 

The elevator was filled with comfortable silence, despite Yuuri spending most of the ride nervously adjusting the tie that was not longer under his collar. Victor fought himself, fought the urge to reach out and latch on to Yuuri and never let him go. He needed to be near him, needed Yuuri in his stolen life.

 

“You- you really should come to the onsen when you have some free time. It's best during the skating off season.”

 

And Victor knows he shouldn't, knows that this form was supposed to be temporary, that he should let the legacy of Victor Nikiforov die like it should have months ago. Another skating accident, from substances fitting of his (his?) celebrity, a -

 

“Of course I will.” The response feels foreign to a brain that hadn't yet had time to process it.

 

“You...you will?”

 

“Well you did beat Yuri, so fair is fair. I'll see the onsen when I come to coach you.”

 

There’s a mix of shock and embarrassment on Yuuri’s face that melts into a yawn moments before the door to his hotel room swings open, revealing a disheveled Celestino.

 

“But I live in Chicago -”

 

“I'll see you soon, Yuuri.”

 

* * *

 

5.

 

The fifth time Victor meets Yuuri Katsuki is the last time he ever needs to, because after fulfilling his promise to meet him in Hasetsu Victor never leaves his side again.

 

He's in love with Yuuri Katsuki. Well, Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov, that is.

 

Mortality, even if temporary, has been filled with more blessings than Victor was ever prepared for. It gave him a family, one he'd cobbled together with the remnants of his predecessors relationships and the new ones he forged himself, but the closest thing he’d had since his own so many years ago. He doesn't remember them anymore. At one point that realization had wounded him, the memory of people he'd once loved with everything he had now nothing more than a shadow that danced on the walls of his memories. Yuuri had brought more into his new life than he could have ever anticipated. Laughter, love, the kind of genuine _life_ that you can only understand in the way your heart feels lighter and see in smiles brighter than the sun.

 

Yuuri Katsuki had chosen Victor, chosen to love him despite his misgivings and abundant failures in the intricacies of basic human interaction. Yuuri has taught him patience, showed him true kindness and the unhindered brilliance of life. Yuuri became Victor’s everything, became his one true constant through the past twenty-two years.

 

Victor would never understand what a man like Yuuri Katsuki could have possibly seen in him, fresh eyes and wobbly legs in a world he didn't quite understand (even if Yuuri hadn't exactly known that). In spite of it all, Yuuri had guided him with gentle kindness and a calming energy Victor could only wish to be able to replicate.

 

Yuuri was special, and Yuuri was on borrowed time.

 

The two had moved to Hasetsu four years previous once Yuri had proven he was ready to helm the St. Petersburg rink as head coach. He still favored choreography and often lacked the kind of positivity needed to foster strong skaters, but Otabek complimented him nicely and filled in the spaces that Yuri left. There had been a resurgence of figure skating in Japan following Yuuri’s career, so it hadn't taken more than a few months for both he and Victor to make final cuts and welcome a new generation of young skaters to Ice Castle. Even the Nishigori triplets had skated out their careers under their coaching.

 

Victor can feel it as the day approaches, despite having abandoned his post years ago. It's like a light weight on his chest, the ghost of old habits thrumming through his veins, a tug to finally do what he was meant to all those years ago.

 

He can't, of course. He knows this, accepts this, makes it a point to meet his husband at the rink later that night in an effort to surprise him with a night out. There was never actually a plan for that evening, he just knew Yuuri too well, knew he'd stay later than his skaters. Victor only needed to be there in time to call an ambulance instead of Yuuri being alone when his heart failed him. Victor tries to remember the warm look of surprise on Yuuri’s face as they wait for the paramedics.

 

He got there just in time.

 

* * *

 

+1

 

Victor knows.

 

He's spent the better part of the last six months desperately trying to convince Yuuri to see a doctor, but even in his old age Yuuri is stubborn as a horse and always tells Victor that he's overreacting.

 

The hospital room they're waiting in is cold and sterile and there’s ice running through Victor’s veins because he _knows._ He's known for so long, knows what the doctor is going to walk through those doors and say, knows how the defiant man laying weary in the recovery bed next to him will respond. Victor takes his coat off and drapes it across Yuuri.

 

“You don't need to do that, Vitya. I'm fine.”

 

“You're sick, Yuuri, and despite your best attempts to remain the most stubborn old man I've ever known we’re still here and it's cold so just let me worry.”

 

“It's not like I'll freeze to death.”

 

Victor’s heart seizes in his chest.

 

“No, but I'm still going to take care of you, however I can.”

 

The prognosis is grim, Victor knew that it would be, but somehow hearing it said out loud after all this time and having Yuuri’s thumb stroking the back of his hand through it all like _Victor_ is the one being told he's dying is what finally breaks him. They don't have much time left, a month, maybe two at most. If they'd come in sooner, if they'd seen the signs earlier, if Yuuri’s age weakened body could have held stronger to the war path the cancer ravaged through him, maybe they could have saved him. Yuuri is unsurprisingly sober through the entire experience, he knows that any treatment options will only minutely increase the time that he has at the cost of his quality of life. His body can't handle the chemotherapy at his age, even if they had caught it in the beginning it's unlikely that the prognosis would have changed.

 

It's not until they're in the car and on their way home that Yuuri finally speaks up.

 

“I'd like to go back to Barcelona, St. Petersburg too.”

 

“You need to be resting, Yuuri.”

 

“Vitya.” There’s a resoluteness to Yuuri’s voice. A finality. “I'm dying. I don't get to outrun this, and there are things I'd like to do before that time comes.” Victor can tell he's turned to face him now, despite his best attempts to focus on the road and not fall prey to the swell of emotion in his chest. “Please do this with me.”

 

Even after all of these years, after all the time he's known, it’s still hitting Victor the hardest.

 

“Of course, _luchik_. Whatever you need.”

 

So they visit Barcelona one final time, pressing gentle kisses to each other’s knuckles in the same place they exchanged rings so many years ago. They visit St. Petersburg to see Yuri and Otabek, both on the brink of final retirement as coaches from the very same rink they all shared for years. It's bittersweet to see their friends, their loved ones on such a somber note, but it fills Victor’s heart with what he thinks might just be enough to make it through the hardest part of this all. Yuuri tires out much easier now, Victor knows it's time to finally head home to Hasetsu.

 

Times passes too quickly once they're nestled back into the coziness of their seaside cottage. Victor tries to remember how many years it had been, twenty-two...twenty-three years since they had signed the onsen over to Lutz? She'd been the only one of the triplets to remain in Hasetsu, staying to care for Yuuko and Nishigori in their own age, just as her own children would soon do.

 

Death is coming for Yuuri swiftly like that riptide all those years ago, ruthlessly silent until you realize it's much too late to do anything about it. Yuuri hasn't left their bed for several days and Victor continues to dote on him, changing the pillows constantly, making sure there's not an inch of him in any kind of discomfort. He looks so _so_ tired, but that beautiful brightness in his eyes never leaves, shines impossibly brighter as if trying to eclipse how deteriorated the rest of him has become.

 

“Victor?”

 

Yuuri’s voice is barely a whisper, but Victor had surrendered to insomnia six and a half weeks ago.

 

“Yes, my love?”

 

There's a moment of silent before Yuuri continues.

 

“I'm not afraid, you know. You've spent the last few weeks so high strung over everything but I just need you to know that I’m okay. Well, I mean obviously I'm not _okay_ but - I just...I don't have any regrets. I'll never know how I was lucky enough to deserve you, and I've had the most incredible life. Even if this is the end of it all - I know I never missed out on any of it because I had you.”

 

“Yuuri, I -”

 

Words don’t come easy, not against the vice grip on his chest or the swell of tears Victor is trying so desperately to keep down.

 

“Will you be there?”

 

“Be where, koishii?”

 

“Wherever _there_ is, when all of this is gone.” Yuuri had turned his head to face Victor now, moonlight catching the deep whiskey and flecks of gold in the eyes that had changed everything for Victor. “I'm not...I've never really been _sure_ , but I don’t know that you ever can be when it comes to the unexplainable.” There’s a pause before he continues, like he isn’t quite sure how to phrase it. “You've...you've been with me, haven't you? Longer than we've known each other, even before the banquet, right? I've never had an answer for _how_ exactly _..._ but, you've always felt familiar, like I was coming back to something - _someone_ who's always been there. Ever since I was a child.”

 

_Had it really always been that transparent to him?_

 

“You don't have to explain it to me, I've never needed to know how. I've just felt fortunate enough that through it all you've always found your way back to me. I never...I never really felt worthy of it, but even if I couldn't trust my own feelings about it, I always knew that if you kept coming back even after all this time, you must've seen something in me that I didn't. You always have, and I'll always be glad for that.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yes, I'll be there. I'll always be there for you, Yuuri.” Victors fingers wove their way through Yuuri’s, arthritic joints slotting together perfectly even after all these years. “You are the most wonderful thing I've had in my entire life. You will always be worthy of all that I can give. I just wish there was something more that I could do.” Victor made no play to disguise the thickness in his voice as stray tears fell.

 

“Just be there for me, that's all you've ever had to do. Wherever I go from here, just meet me where I am.”

 

And Victor did.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on [tumblr](https://www.gutgemacht.tumblr.com)!


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